laughter, followed by open weeping

Dr. Shirley – My fiance can’t remember my name!

Dear Dr. Shirley,

Recently, my fiance has taken to calling me a different name. It’s not the name of a former lover, as far as I know – I can’t determine if I should be offended! He said the thinks wedding planning has turned me into a different person. What do I do?

Signed,

Should I be offended?

Dear Offended,

Never ask anyone if you should be offended! The answer is always: Yes!  Being offended is one of the last joys the adult lady can allow. Revel in your offendedness. Enjoy!

Let me relate a story to you. In the thirty seventh month of planning our wedding, my Patrick took to calling me Louise. I don’t know who Louise is, and I was hurt by his actions. It took all of my book learning – my degree in brain science to finally realise what was happening. My fiance was in love with Louise. Louise had never, to his knowledge, openly weeped for receiving tiny swarovski crystals in sapphire instead of topaz. Louise didn’t know the difference between engraving and thermography.

Louise was, in short, a better partner for my Patrick. It comforted him to know that such a lady could exist, even as I drained his 401k.

Your fiance is sleeping with a lady he works with. If it makes you feel better, she is not enjoying it.

You’re welcome.

informal poll:

We have been approached about hosting a bridal expo. Now, having never been to one of these, we’re not sure that you find them all that helpful. So, help us out before we decide if it’s worth it – what do you want to see at an expo? What do you NOT want? We’re thinking schwag, flowing booze, awesome door prizes, and the promise to never sell your information to 800 local vendors who will continue to call you six months after your wedding. What have you been disappointed about at the expos you’ve attended? What have you loved?

Easter weekend!

Enjoy your holiday weekend, ladies! We will be adding dozens of local vendors to our review lists this weekend. Make sure to check back Monday!

It’s not the shock value, we swear!

We totally have completely valid reasons for getting married in a cemetary! On April 1st! I mean, look at all of the awesome flowers, and check out the craftsmanship on that granite tombstone! It’s like being in a botanical garden, but with constant reminders of our impending deaths.

Welcome!

Welcome to Get Hitched, Austin!. Our goal is to provide you with advice on planning your wedding in Austin, from picking the right location to selecting the best photographer, with unbiased reviews of local vendors. If you have vendors you would like to review, please email us gethitchedaustin@gmail.com.